A Time Full of Firsts: Short Update from Shanghai

Days are passing fast.

I wish I had more time to process all the incredible experiences that I’m having on a daily basis.

Sometimes it feels like I’m going to explode, because I have so much input, but not much time to create output channels.

And maybe that’s okay.
The moment is now.
I can process later when I’m back home from travels.

At least, this is what I’m telling myself.

Do I go out to see and explore or do I spend some hours in the café writing?

Well, I can always write later with help from my little scribbles and notes.

I only have limited time to explore.

How do I find balance?

Maybe now is the time to experience purely without filters.
Maybe now is to be overwhelmed with endless first time experiences.

Even after more than 2 months of firsts it doesn’t stop.

Maybe it will never stop.
Maybe it has never stopped, and the firsts now only feel so intense because those are firsts that growing up as first-generation immigrant child I have always wanted.

After an unforgettable 6 week first solo-trip to Taiwan with many many firsts,
and now:

First time exploring Shanghai with my Dad, only the 2 of us.
Strolling through the main streets, taking in the night view and talking about people, impressions, life.

First time since a decade (?!) seeing my godmother again.
Getting to know her and her life story in a compact 3 hour dinner.
When are we seeing each other next time? Only time will tell.

Firsts in the coming days: Meeting my aunts in South China, tomb-sweeping with everyone, vacationing together and so much more.

I truly feel alive with so many firsts.

Firsts my inner child has always be longing for.
Firsts that make me feel more home.
Make me feel like I have a family and I belong to this world.

A healthy Root Chakra,
a sense of belonging.

My core wounds in this lifetime.

Now I am finally again in an environment with black-haired/yellow-faced people
where I can speak the very first language that I’ve known: Mandarin.

I am an adult and child at the same time.

My heart is so full that I can’t even cry.

Sometimes I try to have a quiet moment and squeeze some tears and release the tension.

Then, I get dragged out of the moment by some spontaneous incident and put on my best smile that radiates all the feelings that I’m feeling.

<3