4 days until I will set foot in the land of my ancestors again after more than 8 years. And it will be the first time in over 20 years, that I will spend an extended time immersing myself in Chinese culture. (Dividing time between China and Taiwan🇨🇳🇹🇼)
I am equally afraid and excited to connect again with my roots. I look forward to spending time with my aunt and her husband celebrating Lunar New Year 🐍 (a wish from my bucket list), spending time with my uncle, listening to family stories, strolling around Beijing‘s temples and museums.
I imagine myself being overwhelmed by the amount of people, pollution and noise. The language will be an insecurity in the beginning, my stomach will scream for the most delicious food.
And my soul will slowly start to remember again. What it feels like to be an environment where people look like me. What it feels like to be home. I will cry at my grandparents’ graves and talk to them (2 of them I never met) I will recognise certain cultural behaviors that my parents adapted and that I always judged, because I didn’t understand. I will feel less ashamed of myself.
I will try to understand how the society works today and compare my understandings with what I remember from western media. I know that western media has brainwashed me into having a more dystopian view of China. I will search for more clarity and be open to truth.
I will explore ancient Chinese spirituality and Taoist teachings. I will be sad learning more about the cultural revolution and its aftermath. Timeless wisdoms will never die and I will be eager to dig deeper.
And to be honest, I have no idea what will await me and completely surrender to Spirit.
I pray for a beautiful homecoming and that this experience will shape me in the best way possible.
🤍🙏🏼